Shinobu's and Zekk's Excellent Adventure
by TwilightZekk
Summary: Shinobu and Zekk, an incompetant author, must fight together to rid the anime universe of SI characters. OOC Shinobu. First fanfic so enjoy and RR Not based on Bill and Ted's excellent Adventure
1. Chapter 1

**Shinobu and Zekk's Excellent Adventure**

Ok, this is my first fanfic. As you can clearly see, I don't like SI fics at all. So in this story Shinobu is OOC and kills SI characters along with an incompetent SI author.

DISCLAMIER: If I owned Love Hina, why would I write a fanfic? I don't plan to make any money of this and any references to people alive, dead, or stupid in this fic is purely accidental...right...

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In the hot-spring town of Hinata, everything was perfect. The sun was out, bathing people in the warm light. The birds chirped a happy tune as the gentle breeze cooled the earth. All in all it was a perfect day. Too bad that's gonna change.

Shinobu Maehara, the blue-haired iron chef of the Hina House was walking along the cobbled road to the grocery to buy ingredients for the feast she was planning to make, a little rice with grilled fish and tempura. The thought of that makes my mouth water...ooops...I'm not supposed to be in the story. Don't look at me. But Shinobu was very concerned. As she passed the town elders and the random shop owners, she felt a disturbance in the strange weather.

"Hmm... Its perfect... too perfect..."she mused," This can mean only one thing..." Lost in her thoughts, Shinobu bumped into a handsome stranger. 'I was right' she thought as she examined the stranger she walked into. He was 5'8'' with jet-black hair. He wore a black leather jacket, black jeans and a dark blue shirt. He walked with his hands in his pockets and radiated with an aura of power and confidence.

"Excuse me miss. I didn't mean to walk into you. I am so sorry" He bowed slightly. Shinobu decided to play the innocent girl as she thought, "Lets see. Cool black clothing, very polite, good-looking...what's missing..." Suddenly, a group of yakuza men came from behind Shinobu and started to abduct her. "Don't move girl and we won't hurt you" the gangs boss said with a smirk on his face, "at least, not much." The smirk became a full-blown grin.

Shinobu glanced at the strange man she was observing and saw that he was coming to help her. " I knew it!" she thought victoriously, "He's a self-insert author! He wrote about these yakuza attacking me so he can show me how good he is a martial arts." On the inside, Shinobu was furious about this man's lack of concern for her. How dare he play God with her life? But she knew that the only way to get rid of him was to play along with his façade. She portrayed the image of the innocent schoolgirl well as she screamed for help. The self-insert ran up to the man holding her and performed a spin-kick...perfectly of course. The kick hit the man holding her right in the jaw and he grunted as he fell to the floor. The other thugs circled the self-insert as the he cracked his knuckles. Shinobu knew the drill and as she fell to the floor, she stayed there, feigning a fainting spell. 'Here it comes' she muttered to himself.

"Cowards. You attack an unarmed girl? I will show you no mercy..." The SI's aura turned evil and he attacked them all with chi attacks that no normal human could do.

While chaos reigned a few feet away, Shinobu had an air of professional calm around her. As the thugs moaned in pain and cried for mommy, she pulled out a list and checked it off. "Nice clothes? Check. Hot? Check. Kind? Check. Overly calm and confident? Check. Cheesy battle cry? Check." She crossed off the list. Why do these nerds decide to make themselves perfect in the Love Hina universe? It doesn't matter that she broke the fourth wall in this story, but that she was done crossing the list off. "Hmmm...A Godly powerful martial art master?" She looked at the carnage and the pile of bodies. Forget the fact that the pile had twenty bodies when the original group had at the most six members. "Check. Overly perfect? Check." She put away the list in her book bag. No doubt about it this time. "This is an SI alright." She glanced over to the SI fighting a huge enemy. This giant looked like one of the Nephlim. The SI was losing for a second, but came out victorious when he pulled off an ungodly powerful super move. He told the big goon something, 'Probably a lame ass end of battle suggestion or threat' she murmured. Right on cue, she pretended to wake up and asked groggily "Owww...did you help me sir?" She put on her 'I'm sooo grateful that I may fall in love with you" face. It did the trick as the SI responded," Yes, I don't like seeing a defenseless woman being attacked. Are you ok?"

'No dumb shit cause you're the one who caused it.' She thought sarcastically. "I'm ok, thank you," she said aloud in a soft, quiet voice, "What's your name?"

The SI kept a calm face while on the inside he was dancing for joy. He made Shinobu; his favorite character in Love Hina; fall in love with him. 'Ok, keep your cool and you will have her eating out of the palm of your hand.'" My name is," he thought for a moment. ' What would be the coolest name?'

"Sephiroth Skywalker" He said. Now Shinobu was pissed. First of all, he followed the most overused introduction in SI history (That being SI saves the girl who falls in love with him). Then, instead of using an original name, he chooses characters from popular video games and movies. 'Can this loser stoop any lower?' Sephiroth pulled out a black rose and gave it to her. 'Yup, he's now hitting on me.'

"For you, milady" he bowed deeply waxing theatrical. 'He he she will be putty in my hands.' He thought lecherously. Shinobu was now passed pissed on the anger scale. She was Hell's Fury now! 'This bastard thinks I'm so naïve that I will fall for this? He is so going to pay.' Keeping her anger barely in check, she took up her school bag and grocery list, wiped the dust off her skirt and shoulders, and put on her adorable face again. "I'm so scared" she waxed emotional," will you please stay with me. I need to go down this empty alley and I don't want to get hurt." She was repulsed by the way she was acting, but once in the alley, she could drop the act.

Sephiroth was thrilled. ' Maybe I can write up some more yakuza to attack her. Then she will be so grateful that she will take me to the Hina House. That way I can seduce all the girls.' He thought of having a three-way with Motoko and Shinobu and he almost died of a nosebleed. "Of course, I would be honored to." Shinobu noticed his blood dripping from his nostril and knew precisely what he was thinking about. ' THE FREAK! He's probably thinking of having the girls back home as his private harem. Well, we're near the alley' "Ok...it's this way." She pretended to blush as she walked towards an old alley complete with rusting trashcans and molding boxes. He followed her, as he was lost in his thoughts of various positions and toys to use. He went in front of her to "protect her" although he was doing this so she wouldn't notice the geysers of blood that were his nostrils. They walked up to a dead end, the gray brick looked old and weathered. 'It's showtime' thought the SI as he typed furiously at his keyboard, but was stopped when Shinobu asked him a question. "...ou do something?"

"Eh?" he asked intelligently. He was unprepared for this. Shinobu turned her back on him and asked again. " Can you do something for me?" she asked coyly. With her back turned, she was pulling out two Uzis and was reloading them. "What do you want me to do?" Sephiroth asked, putting all of his so-called charm into it. 'If I'm lucky, she will want to have sex right now. Kinky little girl'

Shinobu continued, "I never done this with Sempai. But I want to do it with you. Do you want to do it?" she tugged seductively yet coyly at her bra strap. She clicked the safety off both guns. Sephiroth was pass the point of conscious thought and said quickly "Yes, lets do it right now baby!" She grinned as she whirled towards him with her two Uzis and said in a near demonic voice that would have made Naru proud, "ALRIGHT THEN! DANCE FOR ME BITCH!" She leveled the sights directly towards the unwitting SI. Before he could move she unloads both guns into his body. Now, normal bullets could kill a SI, but not stop the author from making a new one. Shinobu had special bullets made by Su to kill the SI and the author. The bullets flew towards their target and riddled his body with hot lead. Looking at the once handsome face of the SI now frozen in death with a look of shock, Shinobu clicked on the safety and spat on his face before walking away. "Now, lets see, should I buy zucchini or carrots for the tempura?"

How do you like it? Bad or good? Want me to burn in hell for the atrocities I committed by having a character break the fourth wall? THEN REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

Shinobu's and Zekk's Excellent Adventure

Chapter 2: Killing with the enemy

Disclaimer: I don't own squat. If I did own squat, I would know what squat was.

Just a reminder, this is NOT a self-insert. This is the story of an OOC Shinobu that kills SI characters for a mysterious reason. Why does she? Read and find out!

After the little fiasco with the SI known as Sephiroth, Shinobu finished shopping and was walking on the same cobbled road that she found the SI on. Now that she relieved stress by violently killing the perverted author of the character Sephiroth Skywalker, she was peacefully strolling down the brown cobbled road, grocery in hand. Humming the song "What a Wonderful World" she decided to rest a little on the park benches that were in front of her. Placing her baggage down and stretching slightly, she looked to her left and so a man looking quite intently at her. When he saw that she noticed him, the man began walking towards her. Suddenly unsure as to why this man would approach her, she was surprised as to see a pair of magazines in his hand.

"Good morning. My name is..."the man droned on and on. Shinobu was bored yet relieved. For a second, she thought this guy was an SI who figured out that she was aware of their perversions. Instead, she gets one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Sure the guy was nice, but she just wasn't interested. "Sorry sir, but I'm not inter...wait, don't you guys preach door to door?" she just remembered an acquaintance of hers who was a Jehovah's Witness. If she was right...

"Yeah but..." the man looked flustered. Shinobu's eyes opened wide in shock. She knew that the town elders didn't want them to preach so they didn't allow a church to be made for them. So this means that someone who didn't know the laws of Hinata made this guy come to her! 'This means that there is..."

"Are you Shinobu, my contact?" The guy she thought was a preacher asked suspiciously, as if he was sent by some secret organization. "Uh... my name's Shinobu, but who are you? She asked true to form. She didn't know what to make of this guy in front of her. He had black hair, brown eyes, and he wore an old black suit, white shirt, and a blue tie. He looked neither ugly nor handsome, but rather plain. He seemed to be on the edge as if some hidden enemy was about to attack. "I am Zekk, the avatar of some author. My name isn't important, but I was sent to retrieve you by the organization A.C.A.P."

Shinobu knew of A.C.A.P or Anime Character Against Perverts because she was one of their most successful operatives. But to have the enemy itself, an author, used as a messenger was too conspicuous. Shinobu switched to business mode, a mode no author was normally able to see without the barrels of her two favorite Uzis pointing ominously at their faces. "How can I trust you?" Shinobu was ready for any move this author could give her. She already pulled out both guns and flipped off the safeties in a smooth, professional manner. Guess Zekk's good luck ended there.

Zekk looked very afraid, a sight Shinobu was very glad to see. But before she could decide to shoot the messenger, he pulled out a cell phone and said, "Talk to her yourself. The boss needs to tell you something." Shinobu frowned. 'This could very well be a trap, but if it's not...' She put the phone to her ear and asked, "Hello?" Once she heard the voice she was hoping to hear, she quickly listened.

"Ma'am. Shinobu Maehara, Operative 1st class, reporting for duty." Zekk raised his eyebrow at the odd sight of a young schoolgirl reporting in such a military manner that he almost laughed. He would had laughed if he hadn't noticed that both guns were still pointing at him and that all the bystanders were in shock that a little girl they all knew and loved, the little woman who loved her manager with all her little heart, the girl all the boys wanted to bring home to momma, was pointing not one, but two deadly weapons at some foreign kid in a suit. Oh, madam is going to be raising hell when she hears of this. He turned his attention to the animated conversation that Shinobu was still having.

"Ma'am, are you sure about this? Do we really need an author" she spat the word out like it was poison, "to help us? I know that we need the help but can we trust him?" She looked at him in disgust and suspicion. Had Keitaro, her main love interest and unrequited one at that, seen her he would had thought that Motoko and Shinobu switched bodies.

"..."

"Alright, alright. I won't kill him...yet!" She wanted to see if she could kill him telepathically. Failing that, she said good-bye to her superior and turned off the phone. "I hope you're happy. Have you heard the news?"

Zekk shrugged. "Not really. I was just ordered by Madam Director to give you the cell phone. What happened?" Not that he really cared, but he might as well talk to this homicidal girl who worked in the same organization as he did. You never know when you might have to work with a freak. Too bad he didn't know his place so I decided to tell him via Shinobu.

Shinobu sighed and told the useless avatar of her enemy, " Madam wants us to work together. For an unknown period of time." She finished. Right now, she wanted to unleash hells fury and wipe out this evil menace before her. But until she could talk Madam around, he would be working with her. While she was able to hold back tears, she was stunned when Zekk did. And cry he did. Tears poured out like Seta's blood after an accident, or Keitaro's after seeing Naru naked in the hot spring and falling over Motoko. 'I should feel insulted by this. Wait...I am." She walked over to ther crying man and started to slap him.

Lets see what's going on in Zekk's head, shall we? Right now, there was tons of little Zekk's running around his mind. Angry Zekk was ranting about getting a homicidal freak as a partner, almost breaking his chair while he slammed his fist down on the chair's arm. Happiness Zekk was sitting on a bed, terminally ill while Suicidal Zekk was getting healthier and healthier. Sadness Zekk was at the control chair, making sure the tears continued pouring. Don't ask about Libido Zekk. He died the moment he saw who he would be paired up with.

Now, lets see what's going on in the real world...we see an author typing a nonsensical story that no one likes...shit, not this world! The anime real world damn it! Jesus! Can't this stupid author get anything right? Wait a sec... I just insulted myself. Ok while I go see a therapist, you see what's going on in the fake real world.

Hmmm... Well, there's Shinobu bitch-pistol slapping the unconscious Zekk around while the police are sneaking up behind her. Wait, why I'm I telling you this? You see, you're like their Santa, cause you can see anything they do.

"Shinobu..." Zekk said quietly while she continued attacking him for not wanting to be her partner although she could say the same thing, "There's something you need to know."

"What you ungrateful piece of ...Oh... Hello officers. Nice...weather we're having, isn't it?"

Two hours later, in the local police station, Shinobu and Zekk we're alone in the interrogation room while the police thought of ways to torture... I mean, find out nicely why Shinobu had high-caliber, automatic weapons. Wonder why Zekk was there when he was the victim? That's because, like a Shinji Ikari in another dimension, he was the universe's bitch. It's that plain and simple.

Zekk was tired of both the awkward silence and the death glares that his 'partner' was giving him. "So Miss Maehara, why don't you want to be my partner?" He would do anything to break the silence. Besides, if he got to know her better, maybe she wouldn't be so quick to kill him later on.

She looked at him and wanted to slap him. "If you must know, after my parents divorced and I was sent to live at the Hina Apartments, I met this strange man. He saved me from some vicious gang-members and I went to go back home. Then I heard him talking to another man saying that once he was done with me, he would right a fic about Mutsumi and Su both falling in love with him. That night, I found out about authors and how they can make a new reality by writing, but these self-inserts" she slammed her fist down, "they don't care about making people happy. All they do is make up these perverted stories where they are perfect and we fall in love with them. They make me sick! How come they think that they can get love by writing! Worse of all to me... never mind. Forget it." She looked at Zekk, hoping to gain some sympathy from the thing she hates the most, only to find that he had fallen asleep during her rant. "You...little..." Shinobu looked like a bomb that was about to burst. When she played the innocent young cook, she would had cried and been depressed, but when she saw that the author, the one that could help her, was sleeping, she blew up. "You...little...BASTARD!" She roared like an exhausted lion that had just been woken up by some insolent human. She pounced on him, fully intent on killing him this time, but he just rolled over in his sleep, murmuring about eating tempura and rice and some fish, she stopped attacking him and wondered, 'How did he know that I was making that for dinner? I'm I in a fic right now?' She looks up.

The author gets a chill and then thinks 'She knows too much...' Then he gets another chill. 'What the hell was that chill?' He looks around and finds out that his dad left the patio door open. The author closes it and finds out that the story progressed without him.

"So...what's your name, Zekk right? Why don't you want to be my partner?" Shinobu asked the now awake Zekk. You see, while the stupid author went up to close the door, Shinobu woke up Zekk.

"You see..." Zekk looked for a way to say what he meant to say without looking weak, 'Ya, like I could say I almost pissed my pants when you pulled out your guns.' Finding nothing to say, he said, "Oh forget it. You almost made me piss my pants. How would you feel if you found out that the person who just pulled two guns on you, a total stranger, was to be your partner for who knows what, for some weird secret organization led by a little" He was cut off when he saw that the one who had just discussed the situation with the police and was to free them from jail was none other than the woman he was insulting.

Both Shinobu and Zekk sprung up to attention and said, one with gratefulness the other shock, "Madam!"

!IMPORTANT!

Ok, the second chapter is done. Don't flame me for the Jehovah's Witnesses thing. If you're gonna flame me for making fun of them, that would be stupid because I am one. I've been one for my whole 15 years of living. Now you may be wondering why I am using an SI character if I hate SI fics. The reason is I don't care if someone makes up their own avatar for a fic as long as it is reasonable, like a friend of Keitaro's or such. I don't approve of fics that have overly powerful characters with no bad points. Flame me if you must, but don't think that I am hypocritical. I am NOT making this a SI/Shinobu pairing. Zekk is only for laughs. No pairing is going into this, at least, not now anyways. But rest assured, I wouldn't make any character fall in love with Zekk.

Who is this mysterious Madam? Find out in the next chapter. The truth will shock you!

Thanks for reading and be sure to R and R

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	3. Chapter 3

Shinobu's and Zekk's Excellent Adventure

Author's Note: It has come to my attention by one of my few reviewers that I should find a pre-reader. Now if you want to do me a huge favor, email me and I will send you a copy of the new chapter by email.

I know you're all anxious to find out who the enigmatic Madam is, but the truth will shock you.

DISCLAMIER: I don't own any anime or movie nor do I plan to make money off this. I do however own a cookie...wait...why is Zekk glaring at me like that? NOOOO! Give me back my cookie bastard! Oh... you're so gonna get it this time. You forget I own you! (Honestly, I do)

Chapter 3: Out of the jail, into hell

When we last left our less than dynamic duo, they had been saved by none other than Madam, the secretive leader of A.C.A.P or Anime Characters Against Perverts. Let us see how they are doing now.

Zekk was wishing he had stayed back at the local jail. Sure the food sucked and all those over-affectionate men were waiting for him to drop the soap in the showers, but it would have been better than this. Currently, he was sitting in an official A.C.A.P vehicle that was for use by only the Madam Director wearing a clean beige uniform with an ID identifying him as a member of A.C.A.P. The leather seating of the sedan was uncomfortable to say the least, but seeing as he was sharing the back seat with Shinobu, his impromptu partner that seemed to hate his guts for being an Author, made his ride even worse. He also was sure that today was the day he was to die, because the Madam Director had walked in the interrogation room just as he was calling her little. Now, the last time someone called her little or cute, she pulled out an assault rifle that was larger than her and wouldn't stop shooting until she ran out of bullets. Even then, she pulled out a broadsword that was twice her size and began chopping the unfortunate bastard into unidentifiable pieces. Rumor had it that the man who called her that was then served as a lunchmeat in the café. As he thought about his own impending funeral, his sweat turned into tears and he silently mourned the fact that he would never see his beloved again.

Shinobu tried ignore the fact that the sobbing man who she had the unpleasant duty to call her partner was moaning in a wretched tone, "My beloved, my beloved computer...my Rakion characters...why? I want to see you own last time...?" Failing that, she felt the urge to hurt him in a comical, but painful way. ' Why is he so damn emotional? It's not like he called Mada... oh...' Her anger dissipated and she felt an unusual feeling, not sadness, definitively not love, anger...not really. What was that feeling? She imagined the last man to insult Madam like that. 'Oh yeah, it's pity.' "Poor bastard." She said callously. He turned his bloodshot eyes toward her, pain radiated from them. 'This is what Sempai feels when I give him my puppy-dog eyes.' It was clear what Zekk wanted. And Shinobu felt great pleasure in saying, "No, I won't protect you from Madam."

'This is it.' Zekk thought gloomily as the torture he called the car ride to HQ ended as the car pulled into the parking lot made exclusively for Madam. He mentally made a will in his head. 'My suit I give to Goodwill, my PS2 I give to my cousin C. U. Inhel, and my manga I give to uncle G.O Tohel, and my computer...' Zekk's time was up.

"Operative Zekk, what were you saying back at the prison?" Madam's voice crackled on the P.A system. Sure Madam didn't need to use the P.A system to ask, seeing as she was in the front seat of the car the whole time. Whenever Zekk looked at her, that hair reminded him of his likely demise. ' I don't wanna die yet!' Zekk moaned in his head. He muttered something intelligible.

"Speak into the P.A system or I will remove that tongue to make sure that you never speak again!" Her harsh, biting voice sounded loudly throughout the whole HQ. In fact, some nameless flunky who was in a hospital bed with AIDS given to him by his ex-girlfriend who dumped him both for his best friend and his own nephew, saying that the latter had given her more pleasure than he did; had no money; was going to die with no one at his funeral; and had just discovered that he was recently castrated and kicked in the balls by his own mother, heard Madam asking what some guy said about her height and said right after having an epileptic seizure, "Unlucky bastard...wouldn't want to be him."

Zekk clenched his eyes and bit the bullet. Speaking softly into the P.A system, he said those fated words that would kill him in a most gruesome manner, "I said that you were short."

Time stopped in the HQ. The birds that heard those words fled as soon as they could, knowing that a blood bath was about to occur. No sounds were heard at all, the HQ ironically became what Zekk was about to need, a morgue. Interrupting the unholy silence was the P.A crackling to life again. " Operative...meet me in my office... NOW!" The car door slammed shut. As Zekk and Shinobu looked, they saw a small girl with red ponytails walking out, panting with rage. Madam looked at Zekk for a moment and Zekk felt as if Madam was trying to rip apart his soul with a wooden spoon. Why a wooden spoon? Because, a spoon is blunt so it will hurt more!

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2 minutes later

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Zekk was alone, waiting at the front door of the infamous Madam's office. It was an ominous place that few ever came out of...alive that is. The dark steel door was cold to the touch and Zekk could feel his soul freeze with the door. Picking up his last remaining scrapes of courage, he gave a mild tap to the door's frame. A tiny _knock_ resounded. Zekk waited a moment and said with false hope, "Oh...I guess she's not here. I better go now." Zekk made a movement towards the exit of the hallway, but was stopped when the door he now had his back towards opened with a very menacing groan. "Enter." Madam's voice was cold. He turned around, and almost pissed himself. As he walked into the large, dark room, he felt deja vu. 'There's the empty room, except for the oversize desk. The System Sephirothica on the ceiling, and at the desk we have Madam steepling her gloved hands and resting them in front of her face and her second in command standing by her. Where did she rip this off from?'

In the Evangelion universe, Gendo was finishing his plans to make all of future mankind hate his bastard guts when he felt a chill. His second, Kozo noticed his discomfort and asked, "What's wrong Ikari?" Gendo looked entreatingly at Kozo and said in a sad tone, "I think someone is stealing my shtick."

Back at the A.C.A.P HQ, Zekk had managed to walk to the desk where the irate Madam was seated without shitting his pants. What an accomplishment! He swallowed what was left of his saliva leaving his mouth bone-dry. "You wished to see me Madam Director?"

The enraged red-head managed to stop contorting her face and reply, "Yes. I will not tolerate talk of me being short, cute, or babyish. In light of recent events, your ungratefulness will be" for the first time, a smile lit her face, an evil 'I'm about to kill you and then eat your decomposing remains to make sure you are dead' smile, "punished. Commander, you may begin recording."

Zekk tore his gaze from Madam, to the Commander. She was brown haired and brown eyed with a bubbly smile and dense eyes. "W-Why are you recording me?" Zekk didn't want to hear the answer. The Commander didn't seem to hear his mental anguished pleas. "Oh, because Chiyo-chan wanted to show everyone."

"Show everyone what?" Zekk hoped to hear a good reason. 'Maybe for laughs?' he hoped desperately. Instead, Madam Chiyo said, with the same evil smile as before, " For two reasons. One, to show Su how her new invention worked, two..." her smile became so evil, so diabolical, demons screamed in horror and Satan smiled contently and said, "That's my girl."

"What's the last reason?" Zekk knew now that he was doomed. Not even God could save him now

"The last reason is to show everyone why you don't call me little." Chiyo now sported a frown. "Commander Osaka, turn it on. I want to show him the fear of God." As her ditzy friend flipped some switch behind Chiyo's head, she asked airily, "Who's God?" Osaka also got out the T.V professional camera, the kind used on high budget movies, and started to record the show that was about to take place.

Chiyo switched back to her evil smile. Ignoring her air-headed friend, she asked the now frozen Zekk, "Do you like to dance?" Hoping to turn the situation around, Zekk said, " Yes, I like dancing but..." his mouth opened like a fish's when he saw that Chiyo's trademark hairstyle moved to turn towards him. His shock increased when he saw that said hair was removing the tips of the hairstyle to reveal a tiny barrel in each pigtail. A compartment also opened revealing a Tommy gun magazine clip holding what appeared to be live ammo.

Zekk had a warm feeling in his groin area. It was pleasantly warm. ' I'm being turned on by this?' He looked at his groin. Chiyo noticed this and asked annoyed that he wasn't afraid, " What the hell are you doing?" Zekk calmly said, "I felt warm near my crotch so I thought I had a woody, but instead" he looked at his pants again, "but I was wrong. I just pissed myself." He stated that in such a professional manner that Chiyo thought that he was giving a report.

Chiyo got her mind back on track. Turning her head slightly, she said the mantra of a Shinji Ikari, "Target in the center, pull the switch." Being the head of a major secret organization has its perks. ' I can plagiarize as much as I want'

"So you like dancing?" Chiyo asked. Zekk did all he could not to faint. Unknowingly, Chiyo copied the battle cry of Shinobu when she yelled at the top of her lungs with both gattling hair guns firing, "ALRIGHT THEN! DANCE FOR ME BITCH!" The rumbling of the rapid firing of both high-caliber weapons drowned out the cries for help and screams for mommy.

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In the Café

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Shinobu was enjoying a quiet coffee in the HQ's café. She had just finished calling Keitaro to tell him that she was going to sleep over at a friend's home. 'Sempai is so nice to me' she thought, 'if only he could leave Naru and marry me.' She was lost in her dream world, much like the innocent cook she usually portrayed. She picked up her coffee cup, drank a little and watched the display Zekk was making on the big screen on the café wall. She smiled and continued drinking. She couldn't help but think, 'Not a bad day so far.'


End file.
